Reflection: Stress, Burnout and Mental Health Part 1

Bonjour everyone,

How are you all doing? Hope you are well.  Today, I would like to talk to you about being burnt out. I feel I can talk about it because I have been off work for three weeks now because I literally took on more than I could handle.  Stress led to the inevitable burnout!

So, here I am at home, looking at my workplace leaflet and information on helping fight stress and I would like to share that information with you guys out there in the hope that it might help.

Burning out when you are a single mum is just a no no!  There is only you who can look after those little kids, I am lucky that my last one is almost ten, but some of you may have really little ones.

I also believe that stress and burnout can lead to depression if you are not careful, then things can become much more complicated!

Of course there are some signs and symptoms of stress, which, if they become persistent, can lead to burnout; these could be physical signs (headaches, muscle tension, etc), emotions (irritability, anxiety, overall tension, etc) and added effects on your everyday life and function.

So, as I looked at my little leaflet, I decided that while off work, I would force myself to take practical steps to control the current stress.

It is important to note that as a single mum, there are many burdens we carry on our shoulders.  Most things fall on to us, without the partner to work as a Team.  If you add in a very demanding job, this can definitely lead to stress.

For the next couple of weeks, I will share with you my experience in dealing with this issue and ways to go about it.

If you feel stressed right now, it is important not to ignore the signs. I know that as single mums, we tend to hide how we feel and how we are from the people around us.  We want to put on a brave face and a strong attitude; well, doing this has led to my burnout! So just watch beware! Admitting that you are struggling is not a weakness, we are all humans after all!

Au Revoir!

Meet Up: Taking the Kids Out!

Bonjour everyone,

We are already halfway through May.  Here in the UK it is still quite cold! We get two or three days of beautiful weather followed by many days of rain!

So, here I am, in my flat, it is dark outside and quite gloomy! It has not stopped raining.  Nevertheless, that is when I realise the importance of always ensuring the sun shines inside your heart.  Otherwise, the weather can really make you sad!!! And I am not talking about winter yet!

On a good note, last weekend, I took the kids to a pet show in London! They love pets and are trying to convince me to buy one, especially a dog! 

I used to have dogs and cats when I was younger but that was in Africa, where your garden space is pretty big so, no need to go out many times a day for the dogs to stretch their legs!

It was a great show, there were many many animals there! My son loved it, especially the bugs, he loved touching them.


All the kids managed to convince me to hold the bugs too! It was just horrible!!!

How funny though, that the little creatures are smaller than us humans and we can get so scared by them! Well I do!

These bugs and animals are very fast, that is what makes me most uncomfortable.  However, you have to try new things in life and I tried under the pressure of my beautiful darlings!

So, what are you going to try this week? Just to push yourself a little bit? Just a little challenge, maybe do something that scares you?

Enjoy this week and try something that you would not normally do. The more you do it, the easier it will be to do it again!!!

Au Revoir!

Challenge: Start Today!

Bonjour everyone,

Well, well, well, I hope you are all doing fine! Here in the UK the weather is starting to look much nicer!   A little bit of sunshine and we are all happier!

Today, I am even happier, I get to take my daughter to school! This is one of the things I have always wanted to do and I have found a way to do it, instead of rushing to wok very early in the morning and missing those nice moments!

Sometimes, we want to be successful so that we can start doing those sort of things.  However I have realised that it's possible to start today, there is always a way! Now I am happier and feel like I have achieved one of my ultimate goals!

The challenge for me this week was to start making YouTube videos. I have made one but was too shy to put it up. This is definitely out of my comfort zone, but watch out as it will be out soon!

Last weekend, I really pampered myself! One of the things that I find really important is to look after yourself! I always meet people who are so focused on success that it is all work and no play! Well, I did not do much but instead, I went out for breakfast, had a nice vegetarian meal (oh yes, I have also started a new eating habit, healthy eating!).

Then I did my eyebrows and my best friend did my hair!  It was so nice to do things for myself for once, to show myself that I love me!

I met up with two friends who are also single mums, we had a great time chatting and eating! (God is starting something!)

So guys, it is in the little things, not the big things that you will find ways to reach your goals.

They are all around you, look a bit closer and you will find what can make you happy TODAY!!



Au Revoir!

Reflection: Reflection Time

Bonjour everyone,

When God is preparing you towards becoming who He wants you to become, it can be very challenging.

If you feel your purpose is something completely different to what you are doing right now, you will need to change some things and you will need to learn new things too.

If your purpose is similar to what you are doing right now, you will still need to learn more to become better.  To become the person you want to become and grow into your purpose, it is important to create the right strong foundation.

If you felt your purpose was to become a Doctor, you could not just pick up a stethoscope and start assessing patients, but instead you would have to go to university, study, read books,etc...

With a strong foundation, I can create a strong knowledge about the role I am meant to fulfill and become an expert at it!

There are many many books available out there, and there are many recommendations to read books regularly.  However, I have discovered that sometimes I give more time to reading a book than to actually reading my Bible and trying to understand what I am supposed to do.

I am convinced that my purpose is to become a successful leader and to reach out to other single mothers, it became  important that I built a strong foundation first in the word of God.

This is why, spending time with the Lord is so important and must come first.

In one of her YouTube videos, Heather Lindsey,  explains that the more time you spend building a relationship with the Lord, the more you will be able to hear Him and recognise Him when he speaks to you.

I am convinced of my purpose, I know deep in my heart that I need to learn to spend time with Him, in order to know Him better and recognise His voice for when He guides me now and in the future.

Do you sometimes, like me, feel overwhelmed with all the information that is out there? Do you try to read a book on success at the detriment of reading The Word of God? Do you prepare your heart to recognise when God will be the one speaking to you in the times you will need His counsel?

Knowledge is extremely important and reading books or keeping yourself informed are keys to success.  However, if you do not spend time with the Lord, you will keep coming off the track of your purpose because you might find it hard to hear Him, His guidance and His adjustments of your future plans.

Enjoy your reflection!

Au Revoir!

Travel: Moving, Moving, Moving

Bonjour everyone,

Some of you may have wondered where I have been? Well, I have been moving house! Can I say that I found out that it is not always a good idea to try and multi-task?  As women, people seem to believe that we can do lots of things at the same time.  I tried in this case, but I eventually got overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by the boxes, the tidying up, moving things around, etc.  I just had to stop and do one thing at a time, I just had to let go of doing the Easter bonnet in the end.

Because of having been a people pleaser all my life, I felt really guilty, but the thing is, while I was trying to please everyone else, nothing was being done correctly. I had to prioritise this time.

Being a single mum can mean trying to be the mum, the dad, the painter, the plumber, etc... In this case, I became my own moving company for a few days!  When I moved, I did not necessarily have the funds for a moving truck, so, everything ended up in my tiny little car, with many, many trips between houses.

What I am trying to say here, is that, nobody is perfect, I am not perfect.  There will be times where I will have to stop and step back a bit, and that goes for everything.

When I step back, I spend the most time in God's presence. When I do this, I feel that God points me in the right direction, because he sees that I have veered off course.

He focuses me on my purpose and vision and gives me the energy to continue.

So, if you have promised things to friends, family, or other people, I believe it is important to see what is going on around you, are doing too much? Do you need to prioritise again? Will you be able to fulfill all the promises you have made? Are those promises in line with what God wants you to do? Or are you just trying to please someone out there?

I leave you with all these reflective questions because right now, I have got kids pictures to hang on the wall.

Thank God the kids helped me fix the shelves in their room!! (I even have my own toolbox !!!)

Au Revoir!

Meet Up: Happy Easter

Bonjour everyone,

Good morning, well I say good morning because here in London it is 4am! Yes, 4am and I cannot sleep anymore!

I have been thinking about this blog post and what I wanted to write! So many things to talk about though!

Last weekend was Easter! I did not have major plans like I normally do, mainly because I was moving house!

However, I ended up having lots of nice food cooked by my little sister and

the chocolate eggs of course which I shared with my nieces and nephews!

I remember when I was younger, we would have a weekend of celebration. Getting ready for that special Sunday! It was a big family affair.

This time, we were slightly less in number but still celebrated. The children did an Easter egg hunt despite the rain (This is England!)

I believe, doing these things together, as a family and trying to maintain those family traditions is very important, especially in these days where the emphasis is being placed more on the number of eggs or Easter decorations you can buy!

It used to be easier to just boil up a couple of eggs and decorate them, but now all that children want is a chocolate egg instead!!

The reason I like to keep these traditions, especially as a single mum, is because I want to maintain a strong foundation for the kids, so that they can also pass it on to their own children in the future.

I think, maintaining family traditions help children become confident of who they are and where they come from. That is what I want for my children!

And of course, despite the sadness of the terrorist attacks last week in my country, Belgium, this Easter was an opportunity to remind ourselves again of the reasons why we are here on this earth as well as remembering that thanks to one person, our saviour Jesus, we are lucky to still be on this earth!

I know that for some people close to me, Easter was different this time. No chocolates, no big meals, but instead personal circumstances have stopped them from enjoying fully the celebrations.

Despite the turmoils, one thing remains the same, the fact that our saviour died for us on the cross, resurrected a few days later and ascended into the heavens.  It is a miracle and a hope for the future!

And that, my friends, is what we remembered last week , at the school plays, in outdoor theatres, ...and all around the world!

Easter is behind us now but let us continue to celebrate the life of Jesus our Lord and saviour!

As for moi, catch me on my blog next week as I will be attempting to decorate my very own Easter Bonnet !!! (I haven't managed to finish it yet!!)

Au Revoir!

Challenge: Mobile Fasting

Bonjour everyone,

It has been one week since I attended my weekend retreat with the Super Working Mum retreat group.

If you remember I explained how I felt the need to reset myself and try to hear from God because I was struggling to breakthrough and was making the same mistakes again.

The thing is, I do not know about you but after a retreat, you get excited for a couple of days, then life catches up with you and you  tend to go back to that bad habit, that I am trying to change!

This time is different though, I made sure that I kept a couple of days off to take time and continue to reflect on the word of God.

During that time, I challenged myself to considerably reduce the distractions from this world, especially any type of social media disturbance.

As a single mum, I get so busy, and having to deal with constant messages, or calls can be very overwhelming.

So, my challenge this weekend was to not answer my phone between Friday and Monday morning!

I know some people who do this and although I could not understand at first the reason to do it, I was going to find out for myself the benefits of mobile phone fasting (as I call it!)

I did not turn my phone off completely because I wanted my kids to be able to reach me, so it was harder because I could see all my messages piling up in the phone!

Monday finally came. I was just amazed at what I had achieved over the weekend by not using my mobile phone.

I was able to look at my goals, my projects, take the kids out, but most importantly, I was able to give my time to God.

I believe that for me to be successful, it is important to take time out to build a very strong foundation based on the word of God.

Do you know if God has a purpose for you? Do you know what it is?  Have you taken time in the word of God to know exactly how to move yourself forward? What or who is distracting you and delaying your breakthrough?

Do you find that you attend a workshop, get excited for one or two days then you go back to your old ways and habits?

I challenge you to put those things aside for a little while, maybe for a day, or a whole weekend and see all that you can achieve.

Not using my phone at the weekend was definitely a challenge, but it was refreshing, liberating and definitely worth it!

Why not give it a try?