Reflection: Reflect To Start Afresh

Bonjour everyone, 

This weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to a weekend retreat.  The environment was really beautiful, and the weather was really nice, a bit chilly, but still nice. 

I attended because I felt the need to spend time with God, to be still and hear from Him.  There were many things in my life that I was trying to change.  I had been doing the same things over and over and was getting the same results.

Despite people around me telling me, I just could not hear them and I was not listening to what God was also trying to tell me.

When I heard, I would quickly think about it for so long that fear would creep in and I would change my mind and go back to the old destructive habit!

Deep in my heart I knew something was not right, I needed to change but I did not know where, I was struggling to diagnose my problem.

This state of confusion lasted the whole retreat weekend, until Sunday morning, as I woke up, God, showed me what I was doing wrong.

I needed to change something and this time I knew what it was.

Do you also feel like constantly trying to breakthrough, trying to understand the past and redoing the same mistake over and over again? This could be financially, in relationships, with family, etc...

Opening my Bible from the beginning again and spending quiet time in prayer, helped me see deep within myself and this led me to listen to God on a deeper level too.

Sometimes, there are so many things that need changing, we feel overwhelmed and cannot even pray. Some people say to write it down, which is what I did, and I got my answer!

So, you can start from the beginning again, be still, ask and listen deep within.

Travel: Look Around and Appreciate the View!!

Bonjour everyone,

Wow, the last few weeks have been so busy! I woke up at 6:00am this morning because I wanted to write something about travelling but I had no ideas. I had a brain freeze! I think it was quite full.

Then something great happened later on; I knew I had to go into central London today, so I took the tube and went in!  I have been living in the capital for a couple of weeks but never really ventured out there.   

I lived in London for 10 years before moving to Essex but never really showed any interest in actually visiting the place! That’s bad right?

But today, things changed!  The Capital gave me a second chance! Ha ha ha!  For the first time in my life in this country, I started looking around me and noticing the great Capital London!  It felt like a breath of fresh air! Even the traffic made me feel emotional! Crazy stuff!!

I looked around a lot and saw developments happening, the new buildings shining beautifully and of course, the people running around catching buses, tubes, etc.

It looks like when you are in London, all that you do is eat! There is a restaurant at every corner! And they are never empty!!

Well, well, well my dear friends, what I realised today is that travelling does not always mean getting your passport and crossing a border.  

If you look around a little harder, you might fall in love with all the beautiful things this country has to offer!

To be successful as a single mum, it is important to do fun things with or without the kids!

I was given the Time Out magazine on my way to the tube and saw a page full of free things to do in London! So check it out sometime!

Bye Bye!!

Meet Up: A Birthday Treat!

Bonjour everyone,

Yesterday I had a lovely evening spending time over dinner with my sister for her birthday!

Because of wanting to achieve success as a single mum, I tend to focus so much on that, that sometimes, I do not make the effort to spend time with my friends and family.

It had been a while since we had been out and her birthday was an opportunity to catch up as well!

In reality, I do not make the effort because I am just too focused on what I want!  And being focused is a good thing.

However, I said in a previous post, how it is important to look after those who support you in your daily walk.

I am not perfect, I do not do that as a priority, but if you remember, this year I have decided to make a habit of spending time with my family and friends, to show them how much I appreciate them!

The evening was followed by a trip to the cinema, the film was pretty fun to watch!  So, here we go, I was out yesterday, it was very very cold but I had fun time!

I encourage you to reconnect with the people around you, and try to spend some time with them, not just eating out but even maybe just visiting them!  Bring them a cake or something!

That makes me realise that I did not get a cake for her! Oops!  Which goes to show where my mind has been!

So, friends, even though you are trying to succeed at something, there are definitely some things that you should not drop, especially family and friends on those special occasions! Even a phone call is enough!

When was the last time you took your family member out? What about your children? Do you take them on dates? Do you bake a cake for a friend just to say thank you for their support?

Challenge: Nobody Is Doing It the Way I Want!

Bonjour everyone,

Here I am again writing about a weekly challenge in my life.  I have learned in the past week that challenges are part of life and it is important not to get overwhelmed by them but instead try to learn from them.

This week I did not particularly choose a challenge for myself to do, such as jumping from an airplane (no, I will not do that!) however the challenge came to me!!

One of the success principles is to learn to build and work with a team so that you can delegate and not only get things done yourself. This as a principle works at home, work, ministry, etc...

So, this week I have been trying to do some delegation while preparing for a seminar and for someone who wants people to get things done as soon as possible, it was a massive challenge!

As a single mum, I have got to do many things and for me the challenge is to delegate to my children because I normally want to do things my way and quicker.

But what I have realised is that God was challenging me through my Team, at home, at work, at church in order to prune me towards becoming a better leader and identify those areas that I needed to improve.

I realised that whatever I wanted my team to achieve, I needed to inform them clearly on what was expected from each of them and whatever issues arose from that challenge, it meant that there was room for improvement.

So, do you feel that you cannot delegate?  Delegation is in itself a great challenge. Do you think that you can do everything yourself because you want things to be done your way? Delegation can put your perfectionism to the test.

If you want to be successful as a single mum, start with your children and delegate to them, that is the challenge I invite you to try this week.

Reflection: Stay On Your Road

Bonjour everyone,

It is that time of the month again when I take time to reflect on what I am trying to do and how I can empower others and especially single mothers to become successful.

I can say that the last couple of weeks have been crazy; a lot of things were not working out and tried to distract me from my vision and my goals.

One thing that I realised is that, sometimes, many things will come at you, making you want to just give up and stop everything and just live what may look like a normal life.

For me, being a Christian means that I have a purpose and I am called to serve and just because I am a single mum does not mean that I am exempt from that.

It is just that when things hit you, the impact just seems to be even worse as a single mum.

As a single mum, I do not like to bother other people with my problems, so most of the time, I took the hit and stayed  stuck ; I am grateful though  for my family and friends around me who did not give up on me and who  helped me refocus on what I am trying to achieve.

What I am trying to say is that, even in those times when all you see is rain, there will be a moment of sunshine at the end of the road, because God loves us very much and he is our comforter and provider.

Whenever I feel like it is getting too much and the distractions pull me away from my purpose, I go back and spend even more time in His presence.

One of the principles of success is to make sure you stay on course; and yes, there will be many obstacles on the road, but take this example, where I live, there are many speed bumps, and it can be quite annoying when you are trying to get somewhere fast.

However, does it mean that I just stop my car in the middle of the road? No, I keep driving.

It is the same with life, keep driving, sometimes you might have to slow down, which is ok, but we need to keep going.

Are you sometimes overwhelmed by the lack of focus because of so many distractions and complications in your life? Do you stop in your tracks and run into bed as soon as there is a problem? (That is what used to do!)

I invite you to force yourself to move forward, the more you do it, the better it will get and the quicker God will take you to your promise land!

Travel: Blackpool

Sometimes working towards becoming successful might mean working all the time and sacrificing those moments of relaxation, travelling and going for a spa etc.…

However, despite the sacrifices, when I make the time to be away from the busyness of home, work and business, I feel it helps me to empty my mind and refocus on what needs to be done for the next step I need to take.

Of course when you are a single mum going away with all the children can be expensive and going away on your own can make you feel guilty too!

So I made the decision to go away on my own and also go away with one child at a time.  This meant that we would have the opportunity to bond and talk about things on a one to one basis, things we would normally not talk about.

This year, I took the opportunity to take my youngest daughter, who is nine, to her dance competition in Blackpool and be away for the weekend with her.

Some might say it is not really relaxing because of all the preparation, clothing and make up etc.. but having just moved house the day before, I found it pretty relaxing!

Blackpool is a little above two hours away from London by Virgin train. I was quite proud of myself for taking the plunge to venture out of London in the first place!

Other parents drove a 5-hour trip to get there but as I was not feeling confident enough to drive that far, I decided to take the train all together!

I have never been to Blackpool and I can say that despite the cold weather, it was a beautiful town and it was really fun!

It was also quite impressive to see so many dancers perform in a weekend! It was great to see the determination of all the children who, despite being scared, just got on with it, got on the dance floor and danced with all their heart to be the winner!

So, do you always work and not play? Do you sometimes feel out of focus? Like your head is so full, everything is coming out of your ears?

I do not know about you but when I feel my head is really full even a walk in the forest helps clear my head and helps me to refocus.

Successful people know this.  They go to spas, have massages regularly, go on holiday, even if it is short! So, why not try it yourself too?

Meet Up: Get Meeting

Bonjour everyone,

This week I want to talk to you about the importance of creating and having a great support system around you such as friends, family, or other people who can help you make that dream of becoming successful true.

As a single mum, it is even more important to create that system because the word OVERWHELM is constantly there in our minds. 

One of the things that I love doing is meeting up with my support system, my friends or family, catch up over a coffee or tea and just spend some time together and talk about anything.  I think it is important to make them feel that they are also very important in your day to day life and not just to hold your hand on the road to success.

Of course as a single mum, it is not always part of the budget to go out,eat something or spend money but I try to force myself to put something on the side for these meet ups.

So, a few weeks ago, I met up with one of my closest friends and we had lunch together, I had a fifty per cent voucher for the restaurant so the bill was, hopefully, not going to be high.  We had a great time, just relaxing and talking.

My friend runs her own business and runs retreats around the UK so we had time to chat about the past retreats too.  The food was nice and obviously by the end of it we were really full and our bellies tender! But we had a great time laughing and making funny jokes!

Sometimes, it does not need to be an outing out of the house but even inviting a friend over for coffee, tea and maybe even a home-made cake is fine too! I have done this and found it easier for those times when money is low.

What does your support system look like? Do you take time to take care of them too even with the little you have? A phone call, a home-made cake or biscuits can make a difference too.

Do you meet up with your friends just to have a laugh and talk about different things ? What about organising a nice evening with other single mums ?

Sometimes, just taking time to let your hair down can really help you relax and clear your mind which can get really overcrowded at times!

So, just do it, get meeting !